When life happens, it really happens. And I don’t know who or what was looking out for me when I became a mom but thank you! 

I was never the type of girl who expressed interest in having children or a family. I had ‘bigger plans’ so to speak. But when I met my husband at 18 and got pregnant, there was a shift in my universe. I was never scared, or nervous, or overwhelmed. I just did it. Being a mother came easy to me, and then the second, third…..fourth. Here we are 4 boys later and I am just so lucky that motherhood came so naturally to me and for that I am thankful.

However, motherhood changes when your kids start growing up, not just getting bigger. But, one day, here are those lives that you’ve shaped and molded and nurtured sitting in front of you like pint-sized, soon to be adults and whoa! What just happened? 

Of all the years I have spent teaching my boys about everything under the sun, they have definitely taught me more than a few things about myself, that’s for sure. And some of the things I’ve learned about myself are quite surprising.

Lessons in parenthood vary by person but here is what being these boys’ mom has taught me…

I didn’t know how strong I was until it was my only option. When Zander was 6 years old and got sick, we spent weeks in Valley Children’s Hospital, just him and I. Through all of the tests, all of the tears, weeks of uncertainty, then the talk of cancer before his Crohns diagnosis….I was so defeated, but all I could do is be strong. For him, for my family, for myself. I was going to do what I had to do, and show my son that no matter what is thrown at us, even if its painful, you push right through. I shed tears one time and it was when I went down to get him a coloring book from the gift shop. I let two tears fall. Then sucked it up buttercup and kept on moving.

We have to be strong. There is no other option. My kids have learned that from me, and I am just so proud to see them becoming amazing strong individuals every day.

I am a horrible housekeeper. Look, I’ve always been scattered in my way of thinking and on-a-whim type of way but looking back I should have shown my kids better housekeeping on my part and maybe they wouldn’t have been so messy. 

I get it, I’ve got 4 boys and the second they wake up to the second they go to bed, even if they’re not trying to, they are making a mess. I am clearly the one to blame here, and no you cannot come into my room. Ha!

I don’t really want help. Go figure. Even if its all I’m bitching to my husband about when he’s home is to JUST HELP OUT! I like the thought of ‘having’ help if I want it but man, I’m particular. I’ve been doing the mom thing for waaayyyy too long with very little help due to my husband working ALL THE TIME that now, I do it the right way and if you’re going to do it, you do it my way or not at all. 

I love you for the thought but just tell me how amazing of a job I do and that I got this!

I used to be ashamed of being a stay at home mom. I did. This was mostly pressed on to me from society. How I “didn’t work”. “Must be nice”. We all know the comments. But, I have learned now that, trust me, this IS work. And yes it IS nice. And I am in no way ashamed anymore. Being a mother is what I am meant to do. And I’d like to think I do an okay job at it. 

This is our life. I stay at home and take care of our children. Me. And the house, and the dog, and the meals, and the doctors appointments, and hospital visits and school meetings and fundraisers and the homework and EVERYTHING else. There is no shame here anymore!

I will ALWAYS need my mom. Let’s face it, I will. As an adult in her 30’s I may have thought that the day would come where I didn’t NEED anything from my mom or dad anymore and that they could just be my parents and be there. But was I sadly mistaken. 

I am so lucky to have my parents and the relationship we have. Being a mom has just instilled even more the importance of this part of life. I can only hope that I can be the mom to my boys that my mother is to me, even if only a fraction. 

Haha, sorry mom I may need something soon, again! 

I might be, dare I say it, a helicopter mom! Ok, maybe not that far, but I think others are just as surprised at how strict of a parent I am considering my otherwise extremely laid-back, casual personality. I am with my kids ALL THE TIME. We only do babysitters a couple to three times a year. So its me, always. At every game, every class, everyday, day in day out. I know what they’re doing, when they’re doing it. We have early bedtimes, strict schedules during the school week, and I am not comfortable yet even letting my kids going to friends’ houses or to birthday parties without me. 

They are only children for 18 years. 

Finally, I take it personally, all of it. I want nothing more than to raise my kids to be consciously kind and caring people, all of the time. So when they have a lapse in judgement, even slightly, I take it really personally. I get so down on myself and all the doubt starts flooding in. “Why would he act like that?”, “who taught him to be that way?”…. I’m sure we can all relate to this one. This seems to be the hardest lesson learned and the hardest to change. 

My boys will grow up to be contributing members of society, but I also have to take the moment to realize that they are only children right now and they will have their slip ups and that’s ok. Its not my fault, its life.

As I’m sure the next many years will shower me with all kinds of lessons as these boys get older and dynamics change. I welcome being taught something new everyday but above all being a mother has taught me that just when you thought you couldn’t love anyone anymore than you already do, your children look at you and you’re proven wrong.

Be gentle with yourself, you’re doing the best you can.

xoxo Schooled Mama