There are only 24 hours in a day and somehow us mom’s tend to get every thing you can imagine done in half of those hours. While sometimes our duties may cut into the hours we spend sleeping or hoping to sleep for that matter, on most days, moms, you amaze me.

I know that as a mother to 4 boys time is fleeting. It goes way too fast, there is never enough of it, or it runs out. As we know, each of our children are different and need different things from us as parents. Trying to keep up with it all is downright exhausting. I try so hard to be the best me for these boys day in and day out and that also means trying to be in tune with their ever changing needs emotionally, mentally, and physically. And of course, trying to be fair and paying the same amount of attention to each kid as to not leave anyone out proves challenging.

Once my boys hit a certain age this seemed more significant.

When Zander got sick this obviously and unfortunately took our attention for quite a while. During his hospital stays, for the 3 years after his diagnosis and through his at-home treatments, appointments, accommodations and so on. Although we knew our attention was not fairly divided, it was hard. After a while we got to where Zander’s situation became second nature and through that time we spent molding Zander with his new “normal” and to become a strong and independent young man.

Braxton still being the ‘baby’ at this time he was receiving all of the attention he needed and even didn’t need but we noticed how much of an impact this had made on Corbin.

Corbin had always been our little shy, anxious, wall flower. As he grew older and we all went through Zander’s medical journey, he had become more withdrawn and quiet and some of his issues started to come to the surface. We knew it was Corbin’s turn.

And that’s what we did. We spent all the time in the world showering Corbin with all the love and attention he needed even when he didn’t want it. We listened to him even when he was silent, paid attention to his body language, dug deep into his issues in school and after a couple years Corbin is almost unrecognizable from the boy he was before. He has blossomed hugely and continues to make us and himself proud everyday.

Going through all of this as parents and recognizing that we can’t just divert our attention onto one child only at any given time has helped us keep Braxton on track and we at this point feel really in tune with him and his needs. He really soaked up all of the attention when he became reattached to me when I was pregnant with Kannyn.

Throw another child into the mix and a baby at that, this becomes the New York Stock Exchange at 9:30am any given weekday with about a hundred less people, lots of yelling over each other, 6 people all talking at once and nodding, acknowledging, and eye contact out the Ying yang.

Kannyn. Kannyn really got the lucky end of the stick as most people will agree with most last born children. In our case, he’s obviously the cutest thing since wrinkly-faced puppies and not only does he have me and his dad to ooze affection all over him but also his 3 big brothers who think he’s the best thing EVER!

This brings us all the way back to Zander. Who, now after being raised and taught to be independent, is the one who has been lacking what he so much needs, us. We have seen this expressed through his school work, his attitudes, emotions, etc. It’s been really tough to understand how to adjust what we can to fit his needs while still holding true to him being an independent teenager. We have recently taken a more hands on approach and put him in homeschooling which he seems to so much more responsive to. He does well with the work, likes working solo and enjoys the time we get to spend together every day whether it’s me helping him with his work or us doing PE together. He really seems so much happier and it’s beaming get through him.

All in all we are really lucky to have such supportive family and friends that we are able to bounce ideas off of, get advice from what they may be seeing from the outside when it comes to what we can change or adapt to one’s needs, and to just let us know we are doing a good job every now and then.

And being a parent is the most important job us mom and dad’s will ever have so it’s a plus when we get things right from time to time.

Every single child is different so don’t treat any of them the same. I’m learning along the way, let’s learn together.

Raisin’ hell and gentlemen
xoxo Adjusted Mama