Enter Zander…

Zander Trae, my first born, is currently 14 years old. And there is so much to this little guy’s story already. When Zander was born he became really sick at 2 weeks old and we ended up in Valley Children’s Hospital for 9 days and leaving when his symptoms subsided and they didn’t have a diagnoses as to what was wrong with him. Why that’s important? Fast forward to when he’s 6 years old in the first grade and he becomes sick. We figure a bug or virus going around. He had an occasional high fever, stopped eating, and then when he refused to even drink water saying it hurt so bad going down, we knew something wasn’t right. After multiple visits to our local ERs and no answers, we were finally taken by ambulance back to Valley Children’s Hospital where we stayed for just about 2 months. In our time there the doctors and medical staff ran every test known to mankind, it seemed, to try and figure out what was going on. Meanwhile, he still wasn’t eating and only being hydrated by IV. It was a very trying time for everyone. When we finally got an answer we were told the doctors were 90% sure he had cancer of his intestines until one test showed he actually had severe Crohns Disease.

You can imagine how thankful we were that it was the latter. It was extremely rare that a kid his age had such a severe case. So now we had an answer, thank goodness. We started treatment and a little after a week later we were released. In Zander’s time in the hospital, he had to do a lot of mental growing up and experienced things that even adults today still have not had to experience. Not limited to more countless hospital stays, treatments, and procedures from that point and for the rest of his life. Needless to say, dealing with such serious medical issues since then has matured him faster than the usual 12 year old. This being said, he’s got the attitude of a stubborn 20 year old kid already. And oooooh boy, has that been fun. Can’t you feel the sarcasm oozing from that??

A few years later, we received a note from the school that Zander may need to have his eyes checked by a doctor. So we took him and we were sent to a specialist in Los Angeles. There we found out he is legally blind in his left eye and almost in his right. Along with all kinds of other fancy words I’m about to butcher like amblyopia and strabismus (?), we found out he basically could barely see. Finding out this came from having Crohns since he was born and it not being diagnosed or treated until he was 6 and the disease began feeding on his bone dexterity and his muscles including his eyes. This is just another hurdle we took with strides because if it’s one thing that we learned while being in the hospital so many times it’s that there is ALWAYS going to be another child that has it worse than you.

Today, he really enjoys sports of all kinds with soccer being his favorite. And I don’t know when boys became so into fashion but he has to make sure he looks a certain way everyday which is hysterical to me but trust me it’s serious business. He’s a great kid who really understands the way of the world. I don’t sugar coat anything when it comes to any questions these boys have and I will be up front and honest with the answer.

You can only have one first born child. You may love all your children deeply and with passion, but there is something unique about the first born. – Raymond E. Feist

We will continue to take life one day at a time and enjoy every second as long as my boy can remember who the parents are in the household and just take time to be a kid.

I love you, Zander Trae.